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How To Build Your Self-Confidence At Work

admin — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 08:20:27 +0000

Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they’re looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you’re one of these people, you’re not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?
First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you’re in the wrong position. It’s all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake.
Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution.
This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue.
Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you–you’ll feel better about yourself–and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).
Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don’t know how to communicate with.
Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem. You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit.
This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers.
Chances are you’ll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.
When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people.
In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior. In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations.
Don’t reward the other person’s behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you’ll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down.
Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker’s approval, even if that person is your boss.
It could be you’re feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy–learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house. Whatever your employer offers, take advantage.
If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you’re a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what’s worth looking into.
Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results.
Even if you fail, you’re showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.

How To Build Self Confidence in Friendships

admin — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 20:08:42 +0000

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you recently met someone new and felt like you could have a lasting friendship with that person? The trouble is, you’re not sure if the other person feels the same way.
As with all relationships, sometimes you just hit it off right away with new friends, and other times it takes a bit more cultivation.
Perhaps the other person is shy or feeling a bit awkward, just as you are. But sometimes doubts and worries get in the way, undermining our confidence. Is there any way around this?
The good news is that usually your instincts are correct. If you feel there is an opportunity for a friendship, the other person usually does also.
Those little things that pick at your confidence could be a number of things. In a new friendship in particular, for example, you don’t want to offend the other person, so you may find yourself treading carefully.
This can feel like you have no confidence, when in reality, you’re simply testing the waters as you get to know the other person.
Social issues can get in the way as well. If you’re self conscious about social interactions, even when they’re one-on-one, you may find yourself having difficulty knowing what to say and how to act. This usually is related to a lack of self confidence or an excess of self-consciousness.
What you should know is that many people share these feelings. Just as you are worried about what to say, the other person may very well be feeling the same way. And even if this is not the case, everyone, at some point or another, has been in a situation where they felt awkward. It’s likely that the other person will be empathetic, particularly if you’re upfront and honest about your insecurities.
Simply saying that, while you’re a great friend, you find it hard to form new friendships, will often be enough. Yes, this puts you on the line a little bit, but think of it this way. If the other person is unkind in his or her reaction, this probably isn’t the type of person you’ll want to form a friendship with anyway.
Developing new friendships does require you to be vulnerable to some extent. Obviously, this increases the longer and better you get to know someone. But even in the early stages of a friendship, if you don’t open up a little, your chances of developing a meaningful relationship diminishes.
All relationships require a bit of give and take, and friendships are no different. You don’t need to expose your deepest, darkest secrets right away, but do give the other person some clues as to who you are, your interests, and feelings. This also makes it safe for the other person to do so as well.
Is it possible to get better at developing relationships? Sure! All it takes is a bit of practice. Yes, this can be a bit scary and intimidating, but the more often you reach out to others, the more likely you are to find people with similar interests.
Also, the more you practice developing new friendships, the more confident you’ll become in your ability to meet and relate to new people.
If you’re stuck on things to say or how to go about it, consider looking into some books devoted to conversational starters and social interactions. Some of the tips are useful and provide a good starting point. Also consider taking classes or taking part in a favorite activity with a group.
This is a great way to meet people with similar interests, and this makes it much easier to start a dialogue, as you already have something to talk about.

Obstacles in Building Self Confidence

admin — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 08:26:06 +0000

It’s great that you have decided to build your self confidence. However, there are a few obstacles that can keep you from achieving your goal. Most of the time, these obstacles are so obvious that they do not seem like obstacles at all, and all you can see is that your resolve to be self-confident is not taking you anywhere.
Therefore, it is important to become aware of these seemingly harmless obstacles that have all the power to stop you in your path. Let’s have a look at what could be the reasons that you are not moving ahead in top gear.
Are you undisciplined?
Some people simply have the talent to waste a lot of time without realizing it. They lack the self-discipline to stop their actions that waste time. Imagine a situation wherein you have a list of tasks to be completed successfully as a part of your confidence building program.
However, the moment you enter your home you involuntarily grab the remote and start channel surfing on the idiot box. It’s only after an hour that you realize that you have been vegetating in front of the T.V in the time you had scheduled to do other tasks.
You realize that you have already disturbed your schedule. In a self-development program, it’s you and only you who has the power to change yourself. Nobody will come to monitor your actions and progress. You have to keep a watch on your inner graph and see to it that it goes up! Avoid temptations and stick to your schedule.
Are you lazy and keep procrastinating?
Procrastination is one of the greatest and most silent killers of confidence. It does not let you complete your jobs and tasks in time; things keep mounting and finally you get overwhelmed by all the many things that have piled up and need your attention.
The very basics of building confidence start with listing little things that are doable. You gain more confidence to take on greater tasks and responsibilities by successfully completing the lighter tasks at hand.
However not being prompt and delaying important things till they become urgent makes you miss the opportunity of working on your confidence and puts you in danger of falling back again into your earlier cycle, thereby wasting all the effort and energy you had put in to becoming aware of your low confidence trap and getting out of it.
Does your old self keep pulling you back?
Assume. Assume. Assume is the technique here. Assume that you are a different person with habits you wanted to inculcate. Imagine the way you would like to be. Imagine a self-confident you taking things in your stride.
Then try to bring into your daily actions the way you have imagined yourself to be. I dream by painting. Then I paint my dream was the technique what the great painter Vincent Van Gogh followed.
Your assumed self will make people react to you in a different way, according to your new self. This will establish your new self to the world and will help you keep up the new self before it becomes a habit a second nature!
If you behave indecisively and helplessly, you will invoke proportionate reactions from people around you, thereby reinforcing your previous self. This throws you back again. Remember that you cannot get ahead if you keep looking back. Realize this and stop sliding back.
Don’t copy self-confidence. Do not try to become like someone else.
One of the greatest mistakes that people make when trying to increase their low self-confidence is falling in love with an image of their icon who may be a sport star or a film star or any celebrity and then they try to be like them.
This is one of the greatest mistakes that people can commit when trying in increase their self-confidence. You have to be yourself at all costs.
Getting inspired is wonderful but merely aping these guys won’t take you anywhere. There is no need for any two people in this universe to be exactly the same. The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else!

How To Build Self Confidence In Girls

admin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 09:11:24 +0000

Numerous studies show that girls’ self-esteem and self-confidence tends to plummet after about age nine as girls enter puberty.
Is there any way to promote and increase self esteem and confidence during the earlier years to help pave the way for this important transitional time? The good news is yes, there are things that can be done. Some of them you already know, but a few reminders can’t hurt.
Limit Television Viewing
Yes, we’ve all heard it before, and it’s easier said than done, particularly when there are a number of things to be done. However, studies show that programming and advertising can have a negative affect on viewers.
Beginning at very young ages, shows geared toward children are mixed with many advertising messages, some subtle, and some not so subtle.
While we can’t blame the media for everything, we can acknowledge that too much television may negatively affect our children’s self esteem and confidence. Children who learn at a young age that food equals happiness, for example, may have problems with body image later in life.
Ongoing messages that things are the solutions to problems only exaggerates feelings of low self worth if a child doesn’t have the right things. As children age, the “things” can change into a perfect body, and not having the right things can translate into body image problems and other self-destructive behaviors.
Provide Positive Role Models
As girls age, they become increasingly aware of how women around them act and respond to various situations. Women who stuff their anger or express it “sideways” show girls that it’s not okay to be angry, stand up for oneself, and be open and honest about their feelings.
Young girls learn from this behavior, and internal anger can express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low confidence. Depression increases, and unexpressed anger can come out in very self-destructive ways, including eating disorders and substance abuse.
Unfortunately, many women never learned how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner, because they themselves did not have positive role models. If this is an issue, consider seeking professional help, not only for your own sake, but for those of your children.
Encourage Learning and Education
Some studies show that girls with a strong educational background are less likely to run into trouble as teens. The more girls know, the better able they are to make decisions. It’s also important to encourage learning in math and science.
While this is improving, girls are still viewed as less likely to succeed in these areas. Encouragement in these learning areas cannot only promote increased self-confidence, but it can also prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more and more on technology.
Of course, this isn’t to say that other areas of learning are less important; only that encouragement in these areas can help provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal.
Try New Things and Discover their Talents
Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self confidence. When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be perceived as a personal rejection.
On the other hand, when girls are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their talents, this gives the message that they are important. Girls who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in their life are less likely to seek validation from other sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.
Helping your children develop a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is an ongoing process. They will face struggles, and parents and others need to help them figure out ways of dealing with tough times. But as you work on solutions together, you can help young girls develop independence and confidence.

10 Ways to Increase Your Self-Confidence

admin — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 08:45:36 +0000

Self-confidence is an important key to success in any walk of life. People with self-confidence are noticed more. They achieve their goals relatively easily. In contrast, people who lack self-confidence often end up being losers. You too need to build your self-confidence if you want to do well in life. Here are ten tips that can help you build that elusive self-confidence:
1. Self-confidence is found in people who have a healthy self-esteem. They know their personal worth, and act accordingly. A good way to improve your personal worth is to make a list of your accomplishments every day. You will be surprised to know how many positive acts you perform every day in life, but which you don’t notice. Once you start looking at this list, your self-confidence will boom.
2. Be clear about your goals. If need be, break your goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Pat yourself every time you achieve a minor goal. It will boost you’re a self-confidence, and help you achieve bigger goals.
3. Find a mentor who can help you reach your goal. Most people, who have done well in life, have a mentor who has traveled the same road on which they are traveling today. Meet your mentor regularly, and seek his advice and support as a routine. You will find that you are learning something valuable every day.
4. Socialize with people who are positive and supportive, who like and respect you. Give them the same support and respect that they give you. Avoid people who are negative and critical of you. Such people erode your self-confidence. They make you look at your negative self, and not your positive self. After some time, you get enveloped in their cynical and negative world-view. Nothing can be more damaging than that. Dump such friends as soon as you can.
5. Pay attention to how you look. Take pleasure in wearing good clothes and being well groomed. It makes you feel good. People too look at you differently. Remember that every human being wants to be found in the company of smart, intelligent, successful people. You can soon be a centre of attraction if you radiate a positive, smart look. It can very easily make the difference between success and failure.
6. Don’t be afraid of failures. Take them in your stride and move on. Say to yourself that you will succeed the next time. Never make the mistake of allowing your failures to overwhelm you. They will force you into a shell, and destroy your self-confidence. A better way is to shrug your failures as something inconsequential, and take on a new challenge. Of course, you must learn from your mistakes, and be realistic about your abilities. People who try to over-reach often fall down. You should not allow that to happen in the name of self-confidence.
7. Keep yourself fit by exercising regularly and controlling your diet. A fit and healthy person is much more active and achieves more in his career. Physical fitness, like self-confidence, glows on your face.
8. Have a wide range of interests, and take an active interest in what’s going on in the world. Meet and talk to a lot of people. Don’t focus all your attention only on your work and on your problems. Divert your attention to new interests, and new tasks. This will keep your mind happily occupied, and boost your self-confidence.
9. Take part in activities that you are good at. You may have excelled at things in the past and then given them up due to lack of time. Return to those activities again and see your self-confidence grow.
10. Pick up a new hobby or craft that interests you. It will keep you occupied. It will also increase your self-confidence as you become more skilled in it.
Try to practice these tips as faithfully as you can, and see the difference in your life.